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 Just for fun.
Again I say, let me stress that this is just for fun.
Just for fun (and Lord knows we could Easy), allow me to suggest an
alternative explanation for events unfolding as they d in the Sugar Bowl:
Spurrier sold his soul to the Devil.
A Faustian solution would not have occurred to me except that my brother gave
me for Christmas a CD of singer/composer Randy Newman's musical theater treatment of Faust. It is a remarkable work, retelling in song Goethe's classic dark Germanic tale of a man who traded his soul to Lucifer for worldly delights. The cast, which is as impressive as the music, includes James Taylor, Elton John, Don Henley, Linda Ronstadt, and Bonnie Raitt. Newman cast himself as the Devil.
Goethe's Faust, an 18th Century German doctor, has become in Newman's version
a schizophrenic student at 1990s Notre Dame. "Faust has never been in love except for with himself," says the text, and that's probably when I began to think of Spurrier.
Please forgive what may appear ungracious on the part of this Seminole, but
Spurrier spent all December attacking Bobby Bowden as a dirty coach and a bad
guy. It never really caught on in the press, and even some Gator fans were
embarrassed.
On December 27th the Orlando Sentinel announced the results of a readers'
poll which crowned Spurrier "Pinhead Of The Year." Closer to the game, on
December 30th, USA Today weighed in with their analysis of Spurrier's "Late Hits" tape. "Game Tape Counters Spurrier's Charges" blared the headline, and the story stated flatly that the tape did not bear out the Florida coach's accusations.
The Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel columnist David Hyde wrote two damning
indictments of Spurrier's tactics. Under the headline "Spurrier, I've Seen The
Enemy And It's You," he said: "But the officials [in the FSU game in Tallahassee] were Southeastern Conference officials. You know, Spurrier's guys. They know him. Then again, maybe that was the problem."
And this was Hyde's comment on the Evil Genius' coaching ability: "But with
his accomplishments come his personality, and this is the unsavory part. Bowden
became much bigger in his big-game losses because of how he handled them.
Spurrier became smaller."
Let me make two things very clear. First, I never heard any Gator - not one
- ever chip his teeth over Charlie Ward. The closest thing I ever heard to a
negative comment from the orange and blue was along the lines of: "Well, if it
wasn't for Charlie you wouldn't have beaten us in the swamp in 1993 or won a
national title." And I can't really argue with that.
Likewise, I've never heard even one Seminole impugn the character or
abilities of Danny Wuerffel. Fans recognize both as the very best representatives
of all that is good about college athletics.
The second thing I want to make clear is that the Gators won the 1996
national title on the square, heads-up. Their team played magnificently in the
Sugar Bowl, and proved themselves to be the best in the country, and possibly the
greatest Gator team of all time.
But this is not about the players or the fans, all of whom I thought were
surprisingly well-behaved this year, all things considered. This is about
Spurrier.
Since his arrival at Florida, and probably before, Spurrier has been widely
described as the "Evil Genius." And I think it rankles him and his flock to have
the image of "St. Bobby" constantly set before them. The championship celebration
at Florida Field on January 11th was filled with paeans to Almighty God for His
intervention in setting up a series of events that led to Florida re-playing FSU
for the title.
I will admit that a curious and highly unlikely set of circumstances unfolded
toward the end, so unlikely in fact that I could believe that otherworldly forces
had a hand in making it happen. But the question is this: did those otherworldly
forces come from above...or from below?
Consider what had to happen. First, North Carolina had to be upset by
Virginia, and Tennessee upset by Memphis State (Memphis State!) to keep Florida
from dropping too far after they lost to us. Then, a flu-wracked Nebraska team
had to be upset by unranked Texas, and Ohio State had to corral Jake "The Snake"
Plummer's Arizona State team (interesting name, "Sun Devils") in a last-second
thriller.
Finally, this year's Alliance Bowl championship had to be held in the Sugar
Bowl. Florida would not have been granted the rematch by either the Orange Bowl
or the Fiesta Bowl, but the Sugar is solid with old SEC ties. If you doubt that
Florida was given every advantage, including thousands of additional tickets,
check out the cover of the official Sugar Bowl game program. There are
illustrations of five football players, all of whom are outfitted in orange and
blue.
Florida State played an emotional game in Tallahassee, upsetting the favored
Gators on a blustery day. Any team in that situation is always at great
disadvantage in a rematch.
Did Spurrier make a deal with the Devil after losing to FSU in November? I
don't know, but if I were the Coach and I'd just lost maybe my best chance ever
at a national title, and I faced the prospect of losing Wuerffel and two
All-American receivers, I think maybe that would be enough to make me draw a
pentagram on the floor and begin chanting "I summon thee" over and over.
There is one curious, striking passage in the Newman musical. Faust's lover,
Margaret, delivers her signature song beginning with these lines: "I was born in
Gainesville, Florida...And my mother ran a cafe near the university."
Sounds suspicious to me. But again, this is all just for fun.
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