FSU works to bring fathers back

By Margaret Leonard

Editor-in-chief, Florida State Times

Whether it's feminism, modern culture, sexual freedom, welfare, the erosion of religious values or television - blame the villain of your choice - few will deny that there is a crisis in the American family today, and a crucial element in the crisis is the missing or uninvolved father.
The absent or inactive father means more than an unfair burden on the remaining parent. It can mean rejected, depressed, angry and even violent children.
Those children, even though they aren't yet a majority - about a third of Florida's children in 1995 - often feel pain, conflict and fear, which they may (many do not) express in destructive and criminal ways.
Florida legislators decided last year to have a look at the problem. They created a 25-member Commission on Responsible Fatherhood to find the causes of the diminished involvement of fathers in families, identify barriers to greater involvement and find ways to overcome those barriers.
"Children in single-parent families are at a greater risk for school failure, juvenile delinquency and teen pregnancy," said state Rep. Lois Frankel, D-West Palm Beach, who sponsored the legislation that created the commission. "Strong demographic and cultural trends are leading us toward being a 'fatherless nation.' Reversing this direction is imperative."
FSU's School of Social Work is organizing and staffing the commission. Dr. Brenda Jarmon, FSU social work professor, is vice chair.
"This is the kind of work that has been too long left undone," said Charlie Peters, a Honeywell executive from Clearwater, who is chairman. "We must find ways in our institutions, laws and cultural expectations to restore the essential role of fathers in the family."
The commission held an organizational meeting in Tallahassee in September and plans to meet three more times before July 1997 in various locations around the state. The commission will make recommendations on ways to encourage the involvement of fathers with their children through the judicial system, schools, the workplace and other institutions.

'Beat dead dads' says mothers,
courts won't let them be fathers

When Florida's new commission meets to discuss ways to get fathers back into their children's lives, a handful of fathers who yearn for involvement have vowed to be at every meeting, clamoring to be heard.
They are members of Dads Assisting Dads, an organization of divorced men who feel victimized by what they say are false allegations of domestic violence, unreasonable child-support orders, anti-male bias in the courts, denied visitation and other impediments to their full fatherhood.
"We are not Dead Beat Dads (or Moms), but Beat Dead Dads," a brochure explains. "... We want to co-parent our children and resent being replaced by a welfare system ... most of all, we want our children to know us as their fathers (or mothers)."
(The group welcomes women as members, if they have non-custodial-parent problems.)
When commissioners seek to identify barriers to full participation of fathers in raising their children, members of DADS are ready to name a few:

- vindictive former spouses who refuse to allow visitation, even though it is court-ordered;
- deliberate alienation of the child from one parent;
- child support levels that impoverish one parent;
- false allegations of abuse;
- exorbitant legal fees in custody battles.

Members of the Pinellas County chapter of DADS spoke to the commission in September, and said they would be back at subsequent meetings. Interested parents can reach the group c/o Bob Zeller, 150 174th Terrace, Redington Shores, Fla. 33708.
-Margaret Leonard

Members of the Florida
Commission on Responsible Fatherhood

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