 |
GIFT TO ALZHEIMER'S FAMILIES: BARRON
INITIATIVE WILL HELP
Terri Jo Barron will never forget the
day she finally put a name on the mysterious forces changing
her once vibrant and powerful husband, Dempsey Barron, the former
Florida Senate President.
Barron died July 7, not long after his wife learned the answer
and decided to make a large gift to FSU to make it easier for
other families going through the same thing.
For nearly two years, she had listened as Dempsey, a wonderful
storyteller, would tell guests the same tale two or three times
in an evening.
She had cringed when his questions were repetitive: Where are
we going again? Why are we going there again?
She knew he was losing his edge. He wasn't the same quick-witted,
feisty person she had loved to engage in good-natured debates.
But doctors hadn't told her why her husband's personality was
slipping away.
On the Monday before Thanksgiving 1999, just before 35 guests
were invited to the Barrons for dinner, Terri Jo was determined
she was not leaving the doctor's office until he told her what
was going on with her husband.
"The doctor told me about the Parkinson's, but he still
didn't say anything about the Alzheimer's. I went out to take
Dempsey to the car, and then I went back in and had him up against
the wall. And I said, 'Doctor, what about the Alzheimer's?'"
She was the first to utter aloud the frightening word. The doctor
agreed it was Alzheimer's.
Then she knew what she was dealing with, and it catapulted her
into a quest for knowledge on what to expect.
At the time, they were living on a ranch in Bonifay in the middle
of nowhere. So her personal computer was her gateway to information.
Now, she wants to help others who are coping with elderly family
members who have neurological diseases.
The Barrons have given Florida State University $3 million to
endow the Dempsey Barron Initiative to Advance the Care and Quality
of Life for Elder Floridians with Neurological Impairment. The
dream is that the Barron initiative - a collaboration of the
College of Social Sciences, the College of Communication and
the Pepper Institute on Aging and Public Policy - will become
a model on helping families and professionals deal effectively
with people who have neurological diseases.
When she first discussed the gift with FSU officials, Terri Jo
says, "Sandy (FSU President D'Alemberte) was talking about
research. And I said, 'Sandy, no, no, we're not talking research.
We're talking about immediate help for people who are suffering
from these things and their families.'
"Number One: Why should we do hard things alone? And Number
Two: Why should we reinvent the wheel? Whatever our situation
in life, our difficulties, someone has been there before us and
has learned from it."
The "Barron Initiative" will help people with information
and support.
"The Communication's side will work on treatment programs,"
said College of Communication Dean John Mayo.
Marie Cowart, dean of the College of Social Sciences, said she
hopes the Barron contribution will help people with neurological
problems and the family members who take care of them.
Not only will information be distributed by web sites, pamphlets,
rural clinics and senior centers, the project will provide better
training to professionals who deal with the elderly population,
from law enforcement officers to social workers.
"With the population aging and the bubble of Baby Boomers
moving into the later decade, this is going to become much more
prevalent," Cowart said. "We are so appreciative to
the Barrons, because Dempsey had such a long record of helping
people in Florida and in the Panhandle."
He received a bachelor's degree in business and a law degree
from FSU. In 1956, he began his political career as a representative
of the Bay County area. Elected to the Florida Senate in 1960,
he served there until 1988.
A longtime power in the Legislature, he was Senate President
from 1974 to 1976, and he put together a coalition of Republicans
and conservative Democrats, known as "Dempseycrats."
They controlled the Senate in the early '80s.
Terri Jo, who went to FSU College of Law on a scholarship, was
his aide in his Senate days and said it was their mutual quality
of being "realistic optimists" that drew them together.
"Dempsey used to say: 'With every rose, there comes a thorn,
but ain't the roses sweet?'" she recalled.
"You know, Ronald Reagan did the country a great service
with his letter about Alzheimer's," she said in June. "And
Dempsey is the same kind of person. He is not crazy. He is not
mentally deficient. He has a disease with known symptoms, and,
unfortunately, no cure, and a known result. It's a progressive,
degenerative, fatal disease."
She said he would have approved of being open about his diseases
and using them to educate others, because education was so important
to him.
"Were it not for the GI Bill, he would have retired 15 years
ago from the paper mill in Panama City," she said. "That's
no exaggeration. He was a fifth-grade dropout. He worked at the
paper mill at one time. It was very important to him to give
people an opportunity at an education."
In her mid-50s, Terri Jo said she listed her occupation as "caregiver."
And though she could hire helpers and nurses, much of the caregiving
fell to her.
"One of the things I heard in one of the early seminars
I went to was: 'They lose so much of themselves, but they don't
lose their souls,'" Terri Jo said before he died. "When
you love somebody, you still see sparks of their soul. There're
better days and not-as-good days. But Dempsey is such a strong,
determined, exceptional person.
"Personally, I don't think God gives anyone a disease so
you can learn from it. I think these things happen because we're
human beings. We're just beings. All of us are born. All of us
are going to die.
"But the choice we can make is whether we do learn from
them, or whether we give in, 'sull up' and pout."
One of the major lessons Terri Jo said she learned was patience.
While attending seminars, support groups and through her reading
and research, she said, it finally got through to her: "Oh,
it's not Dempsey!
"It's the disease! Don't be mad at him. Don't be frustrated
with him. Don't be impatient with him. Be angry, be frustrated,
be impatient with the disease.
"That second lesson is that I am not in control. Once you
are not in control, then you can let go. It's a big, big burden
off your back."
For those in a similar situation, Terri Jo hopes the "Barron
Initiative" will provide the information and support she
knows they need. - Jan Pudlow
|
|